Well it depends on the prayer. There are many answers to what it feels like, but first the prayers. Dear God, I feel stuck and want to explore other opportunities. Dear God, I feel my brain cells disintegrating on a daily basis, I want more, I want different, help me. Dear God, Is this the place for me? Dear God, how will you use me today? How can I make the most of where I am. These are just a few of my daily prayers over the last year. Then one day, He answers. In typical Jesus fashion, the answer was completely on his time and completely out of my control.
I was laid off work on Wednesday.
It would have been 7 years in May with Neiman Marcus, so for rounding sake I will say I was with the company 7 years. Throughout my entire working career I have never been "let go." The experience is surreal. Yes, it is a prayer answered and the first thing I did was thank God. Not like a "thank you God" Oscar acceptance speech (saving that for when Bitty & I* are nominated for PERSONAL APPEARANCES ARE EVERYTHING book trilogy that becomes a major motion picture), but a "thank you" for eliminating any doubts I was beginning to have about prayer and confidence in God.
The bizarre part to me are the feelings I have experienced over the last couple of days. Because I was not in control I didn't have time to plan. Plan emotionally that is. I am an overthinker by nature and so it's slowly sinking in what it is like to be "not picked" ,"unwanted", "released" ,"forgotten." But also what it is like to be "free" "born again" "missed" "given another chance," "having a new career." Knowing I am not alone is weirdly comforting. There were approximately 250 managerial jobs eliminated this week. And sadly 4 others in my store were laid off as well. It's soothing to me to know people going through similar situations. I know that for many though this was not an answered prayer. Neiman Marcus was a good place to work. I gained a ton of experience. Worked really hard. I hope I left a small mark. Met fantastic people and made many friends. But for me, my time in a managerial role there was complete.
With any change or answered prayer there is a process. In the last 48 hours I've been excited, panicked, furious, back to excited, sad, curious, amused, nervous, happy, and content.
So many of you have guessed that our book series is based on real life experiences. Bitty and I are half way through ONLINE OR OFF and we have an outline for NO WAY OUT. Jokingly I added "unless you get laid off" as a sub-title. Not sure what direction the HeidtMoore department store will go. You will have to read to find out. No spoilers here. :)
When things are uncomfortable know that the Lord is working on you. Don't give up on Him because he never gives up on you. Time for prayer. Dear God, "What now?"